Crazy AIMSN
by Mannequin Republic
Summary: PostBD! Bah! It's like all the other ones but this is a mix between AIM and MSN! Includes: Edward being teased, Jasper eating frogs, Edward being teased, Bella as a mute, Eddie being teased, Jake getting a leash; oh and did I mention, Edward being teased?
1. Nazis and Dictionaries

**Hey, it's me E! Um, k.z/question-marque kinda made half of the names up so thanks to her! She did Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Bella and Edward's names. (Edward's name later-on *wink wink*)**

* * *

**PEOPLE'S NAMES!:**

**Alice: **ALICE in shoppingland

**Rosalie: **Gorgeous Rose, UGLY Tulips

**Emmett: **Emysterio

**Jasper: **Jazpah

**Carlisle: **Dr Seuss

**Esme: **Mother Goose

**Bella: **Edibells

**Edward: **Edward de Lune

**Jacob: **[JakeNess=]

**Renesmee: **n3$s

* * *

**Alice in shoppingland has signed in**

**Jazpah has signed in **

**Alice in shopping land says: **JAZZY-WAZZY-PAZZY-MA-NAZZY!

**Jazpah says: **er... Jazzy-what-the-heck? Where's the NAZI?!

**Alice in shopping land says: **Calm down Jasper... sheesh!

**Jazpah says:** bbbbbut u said... NAZI! Ahh, I remember those days when I walked around and thy Hitler said: 'Join Young Jasper Whitlock! Wait a sec, you don't have blue eyes. KILL!' Oh oh OH! And they shot me... with guns! And kept shooting me! :( *sniffle*

**Alice in shopping land says:** Jasper. Listen to me! You read that in a book! You just changed the name dingbat! Honey, you never met hitler. I was with you. *shakes head* Shameful.

**Jazpah says: **Y-y-y'mean that didn't really happen?

**Alice in shoppingland says: **No... this is why we don't go to those veteran meetings. And don't start singing that song about the South losing now! Be careful, I see the future and see that I'm going shopping! I'm out!

**Alice in shoppingland has signed out**

**Jazpah says: **Oh bye Alice! Hehe, now that's she's gone; I can sing my song! *clears throat* Ahem.

**Alice in shoppingland has signed in**

**Alice in shoppingland says: **What did I say Jasper?! Uh, uh uh! Don't start apologizing to me now! And get rid of that damn bandana you always put on your head! It wrecks your fluffy hair!

**Jazpah says: ***bows head in shame* Sorry Alice.

**Alice in shoppingland says:** *smiles* Good Jazzy! Does Jazzy wanna treat? Does lil Jazzy-bear wanna treat? Yes he does, yesh he does! Good boy... treat time! Hehe, let me get those treats! They are mountain lion claws! Ur favourite! :D

**Alice in shopping land is away and may not reply**

**Jazpah says: **Whoa! That woman is bipolar... but where are those claws she's talking about? Hmm..

**Jazpah has signed out**

**Alice in shopping land says: **I HEARD THAT! Wait.. where'd he go? Gah.. what's that slurping noise? JASPER! *sigh*

**Alice in shopping land has signed out**

* * *

**Emysterio has signed in**

**[JakeNess=] has signed in**

**Emysterio says: **Yo doggie! Wanna play fetch?!

**[JakeNess=] says: **Uh, where's the dawg?

**Emysterio says: **Ur the dawg. Snoop dawg!

**[JakeNess=] says: ***shakes head pitafully* It's Snoop dogg.. Get it rite!

**Emysterio says: **Err... then, Nate DAWG! Mwahahaha

**[JakeNess=] says: **fail. Nate Dogg.

**Emysterio says: **Well. Er. Um, YOU'RE THE 1 THT CNT SPELL! HAHAHA

**[JakeNess=] says: **wth?

**Emysterio says: **In the fifth line before this one; you said, '*shakes head pitafully*'. Your spelling is incorrect. The correct spelling is pitifully. I'm sorry, but you are eliminated from this game!

**[JakeNess=] says: **No loozer it's pitafully!

**Emysterio says: **pitifully!

**[JakeNess=] says: **pitafully!

**Emysterio says: **pitifully!

**[JakeNess=] says: **pitafully!

**Emysterio says: **pitifully!

**[JakeNess=] says: **pitafully!

**Emysterio and [JakeNess=] says: **AUTHOR!

**Author/AWESOME E! says: **Yes, what do you want slaves?!

**[JakeNess=] says: **Weeell, plz tell tht idiot that it's spelt as pitafully, not pitifully!

**Author/AWESOME E! says: **Um, no can do Mr Hot-Jakey-Boy! It actually is spelt as pitifully! *scrolls up* And nice analogy Emmett!

**Emysterio says: **Thanks E! AT LEAST SOME APPRECIATES ME LOOKING UP WORDS IN THE DICTIONARY! HMPH! AND HA-HA JACOB! IT IS PITIFULLY!

**[JakeNess=] says: ***grumbles* hmph, wth is Emysterio anyway? Thts lyk the dumbest name is history!

**Emysterio says: **What abt [JakeNess=]? Huh, huh?! Thts like the dumbest name is history!

**[JakeNess=]** **says:** No it isn't! Emysterio is! Wat is it nywys?

**Emysterio says: ***mutters* and ppl say I'M dumb... It's like Rey Mysterio loser! I'M LIKE A WRESTLER! SO IT'S EMYSTERIO! Not like ur stoopid name.. jakeness? Pshh. Gayest name eva!

**[JakesNess=] says: **Ur comparing urself to Rey Mysterio? He'd ttly kick ur ass! And btw; JakeNess is like. Me nd Nessie! JacobNessie/JakeNess. Its also like, awesome-ness. Jakeness! The awesome Jakeness? Get it?

**Emysterio says: **... *whistles* Oh, uh, huh? Yeah; yeah, I totally agree with u. *scratches back of neck and looks around awkwardly*

**[JakeNess=] says: **GAH! Ur not even listening/reading wat i'm sayin! Im gonna leave!

**Emysterio says: **NO! DON'T LEAVE OR ELSE THE BOOGIE MONSTER WILL GET ME! NO NOT THE BOOGIE MONSTER! NO NOOOOOO!

**[JakeNess=] says: **Err. Emmett?

**Emysterio: **Yeeeellop? *flicks mobile phone open*

**[JakeNess=] says: **I'm on the computer screen dumbass.. *shakes head* Anyway, I'm still here—

**Emysterio says: **Ohh yeah u r on the computer screen! Hehe, I thought i heard u on my phonies! Carry on...

**[JakeNess=] says: **Uh, yeh and um. Aren't u Emysterio? Cnt u handle the Boogie Monster by urself?

**Emysterio says: **Hey! Aren't I Emysterio? Cnt I handle the Boogie Monster myself?

**[JakeNess=] says: **Yeh, thts wat i s—

**Emysterio says: **Haha, I can handle the Boogie Monster by myself coz I'm Emysterio! I'm so smart! Coz I knew I can the Boogie Monster!

**[JakeNess=] says:** No Em, I told u befo—

**Emysterio says: **Shush Jakeness! I'mma punch up the Boogie Monster. Ciao!

**[JakeNess=] says: **But I'm the one that tol—

**[JakeNess=] says:** why do u keep interuptin me? huh? who do u think u r? KANYE WEST?

**Emysterio has signed off**

**[JakeNess=] says: ***sigh*

**[JakeNess=] has signed off**

* * *

**Um, yeah. Hope you liked it! I'll try to update soon! And once again; thanks.. k.z! (question-marque) **

**-E! **


	2. Edward de Lune and Scheming!

**Hey guys.. btw, 'question-marque' did this chapter.. well half of it anyway so say thanks to her! **

* * *

**PEOPLE'S NAMES!:**

**Alice: **ALICE in shoppingland

**Rosalie: **Gorgeous Rose, UGLY Tulips

**Emmett: **Emysterio

**Jasper: **Jazpah

**Carlisle: **Dr Seuss

**Esme: **Mother Goose

**Bella: **Edibells

**Edward: **Edward de Lune

**Jacob: **[JakeNess=]

**Renesmee: **n3$s

* * *

**Edward de lune has signed in**

**Emysterio has signed in**

**Jazpah has signed in**

**Emysterio says: **hey bro's

**Edward de Lune says: **Yo ho's!

**Emysterio says: **Err.. what?

**Jazpah says: **wats with ur name Edward?

**Emysterio says:** yer Edward! What** is** with ur name?????

**Edward de lune says**: nothing is wrong with my name… I am merely expressing my love for Claire de Lune in my msn or should I say aimsn name… what is wrong with your names?

**Emysterio says: **wat? Me confused!

**Jazpah says:** *cough smart-ass cough*

**Edward de Lune says: **Shutup Jaz-**PAH!**

**Jazpah says: **Dude that was the gayest comeback in history!

**Emysterio says: **he's rite bro… u suck! Unlike me… the awesome emysterio…

**Jazpah says: **But still… eddie… hav u **tried** saying ur name outloud?

**Edward de lune says: **no and I don't see why?

**Jazpah says: **cuz it sounds like Edward the loon...

**Emysterio says: **hey! He's rite! HAHAHA! UR A LOON! UR A LOON! UR A LOON! *falls of chair laughing*

**Edward de lune says: **UR SO MEAN EMMETT! WHY DON'T U EVER THINK BEFORE U SAY SOMETHING HUH? U HURT MY FEELINGS VERY BADLY! AND IT'S ALL UR FAULT… AND JASPER'S TOO! *run's vampire sobbing to his room…*

**Edward de lune has signed out**

**Emysterio says: **he sounds like a girl….

**Jazpah says: **thank god bella came… if she didn't I'd soo think Edward was gay, 107 year old virgin….

**Emysterio says: **yer… ur rite jasper! Soooo… block him?

**Jazpah says: **duh!

**Emysterio has signed out**

**Jazpah has signed out**

***MYSTICAL MUSIC* later ON! **

_Emmett's magical diary of fun-ness-ness!_

_Dear Diary, hehe i love you diary *squiggle* i love hearts.. hehe, *squiggle* anyway. Dear Diary,_

_Today when I was on AIMSN with Jazzy and Eddie, Eddie had the stupendist—no, um, stoopendist?—no uh.. stupendest name in da WORLD! I mean, it was so stoopid that it was probably not even legal in some states! It was soooooooooooooooooooooo *massages hand* ooooooooooooooooooooooooo gay! Like.. it was Edward de Lune! I mean, even the doggie's (Jacob's) name is better than his! Anyway, when i was on AIMSN i had the greatest idea in da WORLD! Me/emmett! (hehe, i love my name! *squiggle* hearts *squiggle*) i wud hack into eddie's account (jazzy will help me w/ tht) and then i'll change eddie-boys name into some stupid one and.. vaa-lah? vwo-luh? Vwhodf-lahkh!? I dunno *searches in * EUREKA! I'VE GOT IT! VOILA! Edward becomes... gay edward! Mwahahahhah!_

**MORE *MYSTICAL MUSIC* even later-rer ON!**

**Jazpah has signed in**

**Emysterio has signed in**

**Emysterio says: **r we gonna do this?? I'm lyk sooo excited! Mwahahahahaha *evil scientist face*

**Jazpah says: **we sure r Emmy! Hehe, do we need someone else to help us get this plan thru? Someone close to Edward so he would believe something wasn't going on.. hmm?

**Emysterio says: **Belly Babe??

**Jazpah says: **Nahh, Bella wouldn't help us plot against Edward and neither would Esme or Alice. Rosalie wouldn't even care and Carlisle is at work.

**Emysterio says: **I KNOW, I KNOW THE ANSWER! PICK ME! PICK ME!

**Jazpah says: ***strokes imaginary beard* Yeeess, the young man on the computer. Ahh, mister Cullen. What is your answer to this question? *points imaginary cane at imaginary white board*

**Emysterio says: **the, the answer is.. NESSIE! XDDDD

**Jazpah says: **Corrrrrrrrecto! U win today's prize! A.... chance to muck up Edward's family social life! Will you take the prize? Or will u stand up and go with Edward. So many choices.. which will u choose?

***Imaginary crowd whispers* Deal or No Deal? *Some Imaginary Crowd people moves hands in a way that's saying.. 'take the moo-lah' and Some Imaginary Crowd people moves hands in an 'X' position above their Imaginary chests* **

**Emysterio says: **THIS IS SO HARD TO CHOOSE!!!! *clutches brain/head* I CHOOSE... no deal??

***Most Imaginary crowd people boo***

**Emysterio says: **No, I.. take the deal?

***Most Imaginary crow people cheers***

**Emysterio says: **Yes! YES! I TAKE THE DEAL! I WANT THE PRIZE! GIMME THE MONEY!

**Jazpah says: **R u sure abt this.. Mister Cullen?

**Emysterio says: **yes? YES! I DO! I WANT THE PRIZE!

**Jazpah says: **Ladies and Gentlemen, today our winner Mister Cullen has TAKEN THE DEAL! Mister Cullen, you win the prize of telling young Renesmee to go against her father in ways that is unimaginable and might risk getting a beating from young Renesmee, Bella, Jacob and Edward. BUT YOU STILL WIN! GO FIND YOUNG NESSSSS!

**Emysterio says: **YEE-HAW! *SHOUTS VERY LOUDLY* GO ON AIMSN NESS!

**n3$s has signed in**

**n3$s says: **what do u want uncle emmett? jakey and i were.. um, busy.. *wink wink*

**Emysterio says: **U were.. busy? What were u workin on?

***2 minutes of awkward silence later***

**Emysterio says: **Did u say u were busy? OHH! U were getting sum were u girl?

**n3$s says: **uh, yeh em. yeh, btw jasper explained wat u wanted me to do in another convo. kkay.. want me to get dad now?

**Emysterio says: **yupperz.. get ur daddy now! Mwahaha, i cnt wait til this plan, plans out nicely! *says 'excellent' in the same way Mr Burns from the Simpsons says*

**n3$s says: **uh, kkay hold on...

**n3$s is away and may not reply**

**Emysterio says: **Hey Jazzy?

**Jazpah says: **yeh?

**Emysterio says: **r u sure tht edward can't scroll up to see our planning?

**Jazpah says: **def! Only the Author can scroll up to see stuff; right Author?

**Author/AWESOME E! Says: **And we've got a winner *ding ding ding*

**Emysterio says: ***says 'excellent' in the same way Mr Burns from the Simpsons says.. again*

**n3$s is online says: **watch out guys...

**Edward de Lune has signed in**

**Edward de Lune says: **U guys apologizing?

**Jazpah says: **Uh yeh, we're real sry bro. We didn't mean to make u look lyk a loon.

**Emysterio says: **Yeh.. same *snicker* yeh.. sry bro-man!

**Edward de Lune says: ***says 'excellent' in the same way Mr Burns from the Simpson says*

**RANDOM PERSON READING THIS: **hey author! Don't u think that is getting a bit repetitive?

**Author/AWESOME E! says: **SHUT UP RANDOM PERSON!!!!!

**Edward de Lune says: **Annnyways, do you guys know how to change ur name on this AIMSN thing?

**Jazpah says: **Nup...

**Emysterio says: **No.. *coughyescough*

**Edward de Lune says: **Emmett... vampires can't 'cough'

**Emysterio says: **yes they can!

**Edward de Lune says: **no they can't!

**Emysterio says: **yes they can!

**Edward de Lune says: **no they can't!

**Emysterio says: **yes they can!

**Edward de Lune says: **no they ca—

**Jazpah says: **COOL IT GUYS!

**n3$s says: **u guys still know that i'm here nd btw.. i'm a girl... if u guys dnt need me.. i'mma be w/ jake, we're gonna get some ice-cream.

**Edward de Lune says: **NO!

**n3$s says: ***turns head around slowly in a menacingly way* What did you say?

**Edward de Lune says: **Uh, i'll come with u. I'm ur father, let's get some ice-cream!

**n3$s says: **u can't eat the ice-cream dad...

**Edward de Lune says: **but i can come with u.. c'mon, let's go!

**n3$s says: **kkay, u go first!

**Edward de Lune says: **sure hun...

**Edward de Lune is away and may not reply**

**n3$s says: **there u go guys.. have fun! :D

**n3$s is away and may not reply**

**Emysterio says: **mwaahahahah, jazzy; do ur magic! I'm, doing the name :DD this is gonna be EPIC!

**10 MINS LATER!**

**n3$s says: **thanks dad for the ice-cream. :D i love movenpick! I'm sry but i cnt do the 2 dots ovr the o..

**Tampon Sucker says: **No problem honey!

**n3$s says: ***BURSTS INTO UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER*

**Jazpah says: **OMG, THAT IS LIKE THE BEST NAME EVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

**Emysterio says: ***blows on nails and wipes them on shirt* Im da best! ;)

**Tampon Sucker says: **what's so funny?

**Edibells has signed on**

**Tampon Sucker says: **hi, love.

**Edibells says: **Err... WHAT THA FCUK???? Ahahhahahah...

**Tampon Sucker says: ***mutters* why does that reaction keep happening? What did i do?

**n3$s says: **hey mum

**Jazpah says: **hey bells

**Emysterio says: **Yo Bellsises!

**Edibells says: **hahah, i see.. u guys are so mean! But still.. roflmao!

**Tampon Sucker says: **what is so funny???

**Edibells says: **um, sweetie... ur name.. is a bit... distorted?

**Tampon Sucker says: **Wha—Oh.. my...

**Tampon Sucker says: ***faints*

**Emysterio says: **Ya know Eddie.. vampires can't faint...

***A BIG THUMP VIBRATES THRU THE WHOLE HOUSEHOLD* **

**n3$s says: **um, guys? Dad fell thru the wall and now there is a big gap and dad is on the floor and i think he fainted...

**Emysterio says: **oh well.. everyone is wrong sometimes!

* * *

**Hehe, thanks! Btw.. 'k.z/question-marque' made the first part.. (w/ Jasper and Emmett making fun of Edward) I made the rest (starting from the diary) Anyway, hope you liked it! Please review! :DDDDDDD**


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